The Dark Angel, His Promise

The Dark Angel
II
His Promise

[ finale to The Dark Angel, Her Prayer ]

Give me a few dreams
without the shadows
or stifled screams
touch of tears in eyes forlorn
hollow laughter
innocence to mourn

No, these may not be her words. But these are the words that I see as I look around the walls within me, the walls that once held that lil girl. The graffiti on the walls by a lil girl clawing for an escape, an escape that almost never came.

*******

That day she was severely 'punished' for running away. She couldn't walk for next few days. Every night she sat by the window in her room, staring out into the dark forest, silently. The chilly winds reminded her of his touch and whipping of his wings. Many a times she thought she saw him rise in the night sky to catch a glimpse of her. The sudden warmth around her told her it was really him. It was only then she could go to sleep, to be woken up by nightmares. And then again she stared out towards the dark forest till she felt that warmth again, and went to sleep, again.

The day she was fit to walk again she waited for sun to set. And the moment sky turned black she slipped into the backyard. Just like that day she was aware of 'them' following her. Just like that day she ran towards the perimeter wall and went down on her knees and elbows as she made her way out through a small hole in the wall. Just like that day, she got up, brushed dust off her baby pink pyjamas and started to run again. She kept running till she could hear nothing but her own heavy breathing and a stray cricket here and there. And just like that day, she ran into the pack of wolves.

But this time 'they' were prepared, they had torches with them. The wolves of the forest versus the wolves of the civilised world. The forest wolves had no chance, they weren't savage enough. With wolves gone 'they' turned towards her, grotesque smiles in the shadows of flickering torchlight. She screamed, turned to run but tripped on a stone and fell on her head. She passed out. One of 'them' stepped towards her.

Swoosh!

One instant he was there, next he was gone. Others exchanged glances, waved torches to scare away an invisible enemy that wasn't there. An extinguished torch fell amongst them, a headless torso followed. The predator turned to prey and huddled close to each other.

Swoosh! Swoosh!

A rush of air blew out all the torches. They looked around. The hair at back of their necks stood up. Ice-cold air filled up their lungs and pinned them down to their stomachs. And then, night descended amongst them. Their hair were blown by the sudden rush of wind as he spread his wings. They couldn't see his face underneath long black hair but could make out his head was bent. They died a thousand deaths from one heartbeat to another before he took a deep breath and slowly looked up at them. All they could see were a pair of fiery red eyes, literally glowing with fire.

"Boo".

And they all ran away, falling over each other.

He turned towards her and lifted her gently in her arms. He ran his clawed hand gently over her forehead, her wound disappeared as black blood oozed from his forehead. He started to sing a melancholic lullaby, the only kind he knew, to wake her up. The wolves of the forest returned and sat in a circle around them, mesmerised, along with other animals of the woods.

She stirred in her arms and slowly opened her eyes. He smiled, surprised that he still knew how to smile. The wolves howled in joy. She threw her tiny arms around him and hugged him tight. Suddenly the wolves became very quiet, something was wrong. They all turned towards the edge of the forest. Dozens of torches coming their way.

"You must leave now." he said to her. She whined and cried but finally relented. She started to run towards the orphanage, careful to avoid the mob. She was almost at the edge of the forest when she heard a wolf howl. She could see a fire in the distance, a fire that was growing at a rapid pace. Soon she saw the mob running towards her. She got out of its way. The mob ran out of the forest, screaming. The forest was on fire.

"The light burns my wings" His words echoed in her ears. She looked at eastern sky, sun was about to rise, already the horizon was a deep shade of red. She ran towards the center of the forest, where she had left him, or so she thought.

There were blazing fires all around. Before she knew she was surrounded by fire, but she wasn't concerned about herself. A wolf writhed in agony as it got caught in flames. She looked around to find huge trees on fire all around her, and one of them falling towards her. She screamed and closed her eyes. It all went dark. She never felt a thing again.

Burn my soul
washaway their sins
make me new
just like you

Hold my hand
take me to a dream
of you and me
where we are free
Free to laugh,
free to cry
Free of joy,
free of pain
Free to die
and live again

The dark angel took her in his embrace, his wings all around her. The burning tree landed on his back. Soon fiery remains of other trees also rained fire on his wings. His hair caught fire, revealing the scarred face underneath. But the fireballs just bounced off his wings. So he stood, holding her in his arms, his wings around her till final remnants of fire prepared for the last sigh. Entire forest was reduced to ash and in middle of the smoldering ruins stood an ashen angel with lil girl in his arms.

Finally the wings moved, the ash fell off his back and he stood tall. He took a long look at her... Fortunate Asleep. He looked at the skies, first rays of sun were streaming across the sky. With the forest gone, there was no place to hide for him. And he had no more reason to hide. Clouds of ash went up in air as he flapped his wings once, twice and again and again.

Slowly he rose into the air, holding her close. As a sunbeam caught his wing and burnt a hole in it, he kissed her forehead. As he rose further his wings caught fire, yet he continued to rise with her. Soon his wings were on fire, wings of fire. The black angel turned to fire, a fire that got brighter and brighter. Soon he was white as light and so was she, a light so white that sun looked like a pale shadow of its usual bright self. And then, suddenly the light went out. There was nothing in the sky, a vanilla sky. Sun slowly regained its color. Life went on.

The little girl was gone, taken by her dark angel, never to return. In the middle of the ashen wasteland lay a woman born in the scarred body of a little girl.

*******

This is the story of the lil girl I once was, story of her end and my beginning. I am nothing but ashen remains of sins wrought upon her, my life is nothing but a penance for her. Do I miss her? Do I wish she was still around? Definitely not. Only reason I am able to sleep in the morning is the knowledge that she still lives, in a world made for her, in the only world fit enough for her. But I do wish to be that little girl, again.

So I put myself in front of wolves every night, for them to feast on my flesh and bone. Every time they rip a chunk off me, it feels like a step closer to that lil girl. I don't cry, I don't scream but I do pray and this is my prayer...

Burn my soul
washaway their sins
make me new
just like you

Hold my hand
take me to a dream
of you and me
where we are free
Free to laugh,
free to cry
Free of joy,
free of pain
Free to die
and live again

Hope sustains life, and I hope the Dark Angel remembers his promise, once again.

[ The End ]

The Dark Angel, Her Prayer

The Dark Angel
I
Her Prayer

You know who I am. But how you know me depends on who you are. I am the truth that stares back at you whenever you dare to look deep into the mirror. If not, then I am the lie that you refuse to see when you stare into her eyes and ask her if she loves you. A true reflection of the lies you live, or the lies reflected in her eyes you believe. An ugly truth, a comfortable lie. I've lost the count of times my body has lied to a man as his asked me if I love him.

But this story is not about any of us. This story is about a little girl, the little girl I once was. No, that lil girl doesn't stare back at me in the mirror, for she is long gone. An innocence lost forever, never to return to indifferent world. This is the story of that little girl.

And of the dark angel who took her away, never to return.

*******

She ran down the long corridor on the second floor. She hurried down the stairs, paused briefly as she looked around and then headed for the window. She sneaked out of the window into the backyard. She ran towards the perimeter wall and went down on her knees and elbows as she made her way out through a small hole in the wall, she had seen many a rabbits hop around the backyard and go through that hole.

Once on the other side she got up, brushed dust off her baby pink pyjamas and started to run again. She kept running till she she could hear nothing but her own heavy breathing and a stray cricket here and there. Crickets! She looked around, suddenly she realised where she was. Anyone else would have frozen in fear or be brave enough to scream. But all that she managed was...

"WoW".

Everyone knew you were not supposed to go into the woods. The woods were just beyond the walls of the orphanage. No one ventured near the woods, even during the day. But she was a little girl who wasn't afraid of the dark woods. In fact she wasn't afraid of anything. She was fearless in ways only the innocent can be, their biggest gift, their fatal curse. That's why when she realised where she was she was amazed by her own feat as by the fact that it looked so beautiful.

The crescent moon shone through canopy of the leaves above her. A calm breeze rustled the leaves, wolves howled somewhere in the distance and she couldn't see her hand in front of her. But she could see a pair of glowing eyes in the dark. The eyes came nearer to her and gleaming white fangs bared themselves, she didn't move an inch. A low growling echoed around as a few more pairs of eyes appeared around her. Soon she was surrounded by a pack of wolves from three sides. As she turned around the wolves growled louder and she stopped dead in her tracks. The wolves inched closer, their intentions dripping from their fangs. Anyone else would have frozen in fear, too scared to even scream. But she quickly turned and ran.

She could hear the wolves following her, gaining on her. And just when she thought they would be upon her, something strange happened. A wolf fell down with a loud thud. She turned around, she couldn't see any wolves, but hear them whimper. A whipping sound, a rush of wind and she briefly saw the wolves cowering away before the were again blotted out by darkness.

She looked up, from where the whipping sound seemed to come. She realised she was in a clearing in the forest for she could see the black sky and the stars at its periphery. Suddenly the stars seemed to move inwards and take up their place in the empty dark sky. It took her a moment to figure out what she was witnessing, it would take few more to sink in...

"Are they wings?" No reply. But she was sure he was folding his wings. She couldn't see him at all, but knew when he moved for that part of sky and forest seemed to go black. "Are you an angel?" Still no reply. But rustle of leaves told her he was moving away from her. A similar rustle of leaves told him she was following him. He stopped, so did the rustling sound. He turned around, she was smiling back at him.

"They are wings, aren't they? Can I touch them, please? I've never touched wings of an angel."

"I am no angel". The breeze suddenly went still. The crickets went silent. Suddenly a dead calm took over the forest, a frozen dead calm. The lil girl seemed to be the only one not affected by it. She went ahead and touched his half outstretched wing, glistening black leather. Her fingers followed the trail of cold black blood to a small wound. The wing shuddered at her warm touch, a sensation they had long forgotten. Reflexively his hand grabbed her wrists. She winced at the cold steely grip.

"Sorry" he apologetically let go, staring at his hand as if it was no longer his, the warm sensation felt so unreal.

A couple of fingers touched his forefinger and curled themselves around them. Soon his finger was in grip of her tiny hand, a grip far stronger than of any demon he had fought in the depths of hell.

That is how the lil girl met her Dark Angel. And that is how an angel outcast from heavens met his lil angel. That night he walked her and they talked all the way. She told him she was playing hide and seek and lost her way in the forest. He told her he was also lost and searching for a way home. Her innocence and love filled him with hope. When they reached the edge of the woods dawn was about to break in the easern sky. She wanted him to come with her but he refused. He couldn't step out of the woods, definitely not into the light.

"The light burns my wings".

"When will I see you again?"

"Whenever you need me."

"Promise?"

"Yes." And with that promise he spread his wings, rose and flew back into the dark forest.

And she watched him fly away. Finally she turned and the imposing orphanage and its cathedral seemed to rise like a behemoth. She waited for first rays of sun to paint the horizon red before she went back in, steps heavy with trepidation.

******

Later that night that lil girl wrote a prayer, a song for her dark angel. Words that went with her, words I don't remember. But few days ago I heard a song and that was what triggered all these memories that made me write this story.

Will tell rest of the story later. I got kohl streaming down my face and tears are very bad for business. I have to remove all their traces and get ready for next one. Need to turn off the lights. I'll put the song on and you can listen to it. Maybe you will hear that lil girls cries that I never heard, that no one heard. No one, but her Dark Angel.

Angel - put sad wings around me now
Protect me from this world of sin
So that we can rise again

Oh angel - we can find our way somehow
Escaping from the world we're in
To a place where we began

And I know we'll find
A better place and peace of mind
Just tell me that it's all you want - for you and me
Angel won't you set me free

Angel remember how we'd chase the sun
Then reaching for the stars at night
As our lives had just begun

When I close my eyes I hear your velvet wings and cry
I'm waiting here with open arms - oh can't you see
Angel shine your light on me

Oh angel will we meet once more - I'll pay
When all my sins are washed away
Hold me inside your wings and stay
Oh! Angel take me away

Put sad wings around me now
Angel take me far away
Put sad wings around me now
So that we can rise again
[ Judas Priest - Angel ]

[ the story concludes in - The Dark Angel, His Promise ]