I Wonder... almost

I Wonder... Almost

a companion story to A Story Called Almost by supriyad... almost

I wonder... about the pass that said By invitation only, to a valentine's day dinner, candle light and your favourite Jazz band... the pass that I almost hid somewhere under a stack of clothes in a well-tended wardrobe, a surprise that almost was. But the pass was killed by two cute fluffy rabbits hugging each other tight, on a Valentine's Day card with a hallmark song shining on pink bubble hearts... a card from you, but not for me, wasn't it meant to be?

A black smudge scars the red, where first tears of a dying heart were shed.


I wonder... about the song I wrote for you, of laughter and smiles and our times together. But it drowned in the rain... waiting for you as it saw you smile and hug your friends, but you never came... and we, were never the same.

Unsung memories flush down a drain, where euphoria is another victim to pain.


I wonder... about the kiss that never came. I turned and blinked, capturing an image of you in my mind... waited for you to turn and run to me. You didn't turn, you didn't run. I saw you staring back at me, from the mirror of your pretty dresser, that look in your eyes... rusty knives and icy spears, pinned your image to back of my head.

Sepia withdrew and red has gone, where colors go to die alone.


I wonder... about lost moments. If you ever noticed who I really was... past who you thought, I was, always there. Hopeful, you'll be greedy for more, for all you were yet to find... that it can never be enough, when love is all you want. But we lost, each other somewhere on the way, for I turned around, but you were not there... anywhere.

In the middle of nowhere... lost, where forgotten ways come to a crossroad.


I wonder... about the times I felt, driving away from home, your touch, as wind ran through my hair. A sad smile lingers, at the whiff of whispers of a ghost in my ear, revealing your secrets, that I never hear.

Stuck in throat a laughter that chokes, where flagging dreams strangulate all hopes.


I wonder... about the day I almost told you, how I lost everything and owned nothing at all, nothing, but you... ? But before the words could rise up my throat... they choked, they crackled in the dry cold... aching for a drop of promise that never came.

Ruthless mirages of a barren land, where the oasis are nothing but castles of sand.


I wonder... about the stories I found, written words scrawny, crawled in haste... stories of love, unrequited... gone to waste.

Undead love's memory departs, where zombies bleed from broken hearts.


I wonder... about the things I said, about real feelings in your imaginary head. Was it a lie meant to deceive, times when you said you believe??? Believe in me, and my love... kissing under mistletoes and turtledoves? Believe in love, beyond distance and time, logic and reason... a higher faith for every season?

Angels and demons are all the same, where love is condemned in God's name.


I wonder... about the home I built, where we could be together and never leave. Our most beautiful dream come true, a labour of love, for me and you. I'd kiss you everytime we fight... a kiss that would set all right. For that was the dream we always had, but dreams of imaginary kind, were all you wanted... and left me alone in an empty house, cold, blue and haunted.

Delusions take the guise of dreams, where cries of help are terrifying screams.




I wonder... about the fortune teller's lies. It wasn't a dream... almost.